“We must become the first superpower to develop super powers.” As ridiculous as this statement sounds, a title card at the beginning of The Men Who Stare at Goats informs us that more of the plot is true than we would believe. Indeed, the film is loosely based on a book by Jon Ronson, a British journalist who discovered a mental combat division of the United States military. Apparently, the Army tried to cultivate an elite team of psychics who could locate enemy whereabouts and potentially use their powers as fatal weapons. Yeah…

The film is composed of two storylines that ultimately come together. The first follows Bob Wilton (McGregor), an Ann Arbor journalist whose wife has just left him. Desperate for meaning and excitement, he travels to Kuwait in hopes of acquiring permission to enter Iraq. At the hotel, he meets Lyn Cassidy (Clooney), who claims to be a Jedi Warrior, a member of the psychic team previously mentioned. Cassidy says that he is heading to Iraq to complete a mission, and Wilton tags along, ideas for a feature story already formulating in his mind.

Throughout their slapstick journey across the Iraqi desert, director Grant Heslov includes many flashbacks about Cassidy’s training. Bill Django (Bridges) started the mental combat program, called the New Earth Army, after his experiences in Vietnam. Drawing heavily from the hippie movement (Django sports a ponytail and tie-dyed clothing), the secret organization prouds itself on the idea that “love” can win wars. Indeed, Django does not follow standard military training procedures; instead, he has his recruits dance and breathe to clear their minds.

Trouble soon arises within the New Earth Army when Larry Hooper (Spacey) arrives on the scene, a psychic who wants to overshadow his peers. He experiments with LSD, which leads to a soldier’s suicide, and accuses Django of using military funds to buy drugs. Django is discharged from the army and Hooper shifts the New Earth Army’s focus to offensive tactics, as Lyn is revealed to be able to stop the heart of a goat after a bout of intense staring.

Unfortunately, the construction of the film’s plot leaves much to be desired. Heslov takes the easy way out and uses the perspective of the journalist to frame the story, and much voiceover narration is commonly used. While Wilton tries to connect past and present, the frequent shifts in time don’t add anything to the film. In the end, there is absolutely no driving force moving the plot forward. Amusing moments are interspersed throughout, but Wilton and Cassidy’s adventure in Iraq is largely uninteresting; the film meanders and frequently loses direction and focus. Cassidy’s revelation that he doesn’t know where he is going but telepathically received some sort of message is the last straw. At this point, the audience realizes that there is just not enough of a story to warrant a feature length running time.

It’s a shame that the plot is so weak, because the performances of the four main leads are all wonderful. The comedic moments of the film work so well because of how convincing the actors are in their roles. They feed off of one another brilliantly, bouncing impeccably timed lines back and forth. But the humor comes primarily from their serious and deadpan expressions. No matter what ridiculous aspect of the New Earth Army Cassidy is talking about, Clooney gives no indication of a smile. His face is expressionless; his bulging eyes convey truth and total commitment to his endeavor.

The film’s climax attempts to revitalize the dying narrative with a bang. Ultimately, all four characters meet in an American compound in Iraq. Hooper is in charge, and he has developed a facility whose sole purpose is to cultivate aggressive uses of mental powers. Obviously, Cassidy and Django object, and they launch a plan to take over the base. They tell Wilton that they have placed LSD into the powdered eggs, so the journalist avoids his breakfast. However, they soon confess that they have placed it in the water as well, and as a result everybody is tripping on acid. Cassidy and Django ultimately release the goats and enemy prisoners, and the other soldiers tear down the facility when they drive tanks under the influence.

This conclusion is a sign of desperation, an attempt to hide the film’s lack of decent plot. Having a film end with many people tripping on acid and doing crazy shit is clearly a juvenile decision, and it failed to achieve any amusement from my end. It was not only ridiculous, but also irresponsible. In a time where issues such as Guantanamo prisoners and the Iraq War in general are salient in people’s minds, an ending in which enemy prisoners are set free into the desert must have justification behind it. But any sort of justification is absent here, and I felt that much of the audience was uncomfortable upon leaving the theater.